So, here I sit... it is pushing past midnight. I should be snuggling into bed, but I have been once again blown away by a gracious loving gift. I knew if I did not write this blog I just wouldn't get around to it. I know that some of you know this about me but some may not...I love to surround me, my home, my family, my friends with handcrafted made with love items. The older I get and the more I live in the last frontier the more I embrace the hard work it takes to make quality. Tonight I was once again reminded of how blessed I am to have people that love me enough to spend so much time in making me something they thought I would enjoy.
We got home from Anchorage to find a package in the mail from Jesse's Grandma Pilch. June Pilch is and AMAZING woman whom I have been honored to call Grandma these last eight years. She always remembers to pray for her family whether near or far, and has spent a lot of her free time making things for someone in her large family. Just the other day I pulled out a sweater and pants she made for Auden when she was a baby, and now it fits Caelis perfect, all the while I was sitting on a bed that was draped in a quilt she made for Jess's graduation. Anyway back to my package. I opened it wondering why it was just addressed to me. Upon opening I found an awesome cardigan that she had made JUST FOR ME! I can't even imagine how many hours she put into it. I also know that while she was making it she was thinking of me and praying for me. I love it.
This got me thinking to how very blessed I am to have things in my life I truly cherish. There are a lot of people that have "things". "Things" they really like, "things" they think make their life worth living. Well I got to thinking about my "things" and I realize that the most important "things" to me where not the things themselves; they are the people those thing represent. So, here are a few of my favorite things...
I love the blanket I wrap up in every morning to do my devotions it was knitted my a fun-loving women that I admire a great deal. I love washing my hands with the soap that may crafty friend makes. I love walking into my house and the first picture you see is my birch trees painted by one of the most talented women I know and I am so happy I can call her one of my best-friends (oh and while I walk into the house I am probably wearing a pair of earrings she made me as well). I love the dish towels that where made by my brother-in-law who now is a husband and father, and I love that his sister has step in a filled his dishrag making shoes. I love that I can snuggle all my babies up in a quilt that was made for me and Jesse for our wedding and I can tell them about her and how she worked hard to become the surgeon she is now, and about how much fun we had in college together, but mostly about how proud of her I am. I love that I get to put a polka dotted bow into my daughter's hair that was made by the woman who has become a sister to me and who loves my children almost as much as I do. I love that when I have a baby I can count on their being a quilt that I can lay them on made with love from a preacher's wife who loves me like a daughter. I love that when I am bundling the kids up to go outside I can pull on there warm fleece hats that their aunty from MN made for them, I get to tell them how she became part of our family after she married mommy's sidekick.
I love the scarfs that keep the snow off my children's little necks that were knitted by a not only my terrific mother-in-law but also my friend. I love that my kids step up on the stools my father made almost every waking hour of everyday to look into the mirror that he made so they can see if they are clean. Not to mention that I get to be reminded of what a talented man I have for a father when I use one of the many cutting boards I smuggled home in my suitcase from his workshop...all made from the benches that everyone who attended our wedding sat on. I love that when you walk outside and see the flowers and gardens that are there they happened because a mother took the time to research and plan a garden for a daughter that decided to move 3000 miles away, and still needed her help and advice. I love the cabinets that my husband made for me when we were living in a tiny apartment and needed a pantry, I have moved them across the country and they daily remind me of the way that he will do anything to met our family needs. To me they represent how far we have come and yet they remind me how simple we want our life to stay.
Needless to say my house is full of "things" but if you look deeper it is filled with all the people I love, though they maybe down the road or across the country they fill my home and my heart. I am humbled by the fact that so many people love me. I feel that love everyday when I use the "things" they took the time to make or think up. Just as they have decided to think and pray for me while they made it, I have decided to think and praise God for them every time I use it. So, here I sit wrapped in my new cardigan, blessed beyond measure. Thank you to all who share your love and talent with me. I love you all.
Monday, December 5, 2011
Thursday, September 29, 2011
Serene my butt!
OK so picture this...a calm morning with the birds singing the house warm and cozy, breakfast is over dishes are tucked neatly into the dishwasher. A beautiful young women holds a toddler in her lap while she diligently walks an even more beautiful curly haired kindergartener though the days math lesson, all the while there is an inquisitive four year old sitting quietly doing a puzzle to which he inadvertently is learning his ABC's in a near by kitchen chair. All is calm and perfect for learning. Through out the morning lessons abound, fun it had, and light bulbs are flicking on in these young children's mind, as the mother smiles on happily knowing she is doing a wonderful job teaching her offspring.
Yeah that is SO not my house! My homeschooling experience is going more like this...
Haggard mother wakes up and her first thought is "Oh Crap, it's morning!" She knows this fact because there is already two not so tiny bodies piled like cord wood on top of her bouncing her awake. "Come on mom, we need to EAT!!!!!!" She tries to block out the annoying comments that put certain death to her alone time, but nothing can stifle the screeches coming from the caged animal what sometime camouflages itself has a very lovely baby girl in the next room. OK she is up she is moving. She is on a roll...the savages are feed, the beds are made, the proper clothes semi in place. Hour one, and everyone is still breathing. As the small minions destroy the living room with every toy in their arsonal, she sits and uses this small moment of time to once again go over the lessons for the eldest and her military type game plan to keep the other two at bay. She takes a deep breath and squints her eyes and winces as she says "time for school".
At that moment all Hell breaks out! The leader of this pack finds anything and everything to keep herself from doing the task at hand. The baby has in a split second (well really the time it takes to teach the sound of the letter A)opened every drawer and cabinet in the kitchen and spewed forth all the contents on to the floor to which the four year old (who has been running around turning every radio on in the house, full blast I might add) trips and falls and has proceeded to wail like his leg has just been severed. All the while she is trying to get her voice to reach an ungodly level to make her explanation of how a rain cloud is formed heard. Yes there are time when she is thinking that those sound proof rooms that they use on game shows might not be a bad idea for domestic use, but do they make them strong enough to contain the combined energy and force of a tornado and hurricane? Huh she will have to look into that...
Anyway, as she was day dreaming the sweet loving four year old is laying on the floor rolling back and forth holding his stomach saying " I can't move, I am so hungry my legs don't work...or my hands or my feet!...I think I am dying...MOM I AM HUNGRY!" In between sentences of the Boxcar Children she assures him lunch is not far off, when she looks down and he has a small buddy join him in his plea...but since this buddy has not yet mastered the art of speech she just lays and moans, back and forth back and forth, moaning like she hasn't been fed in all her 1 1/2 years on earth. Once the chapter is finished and most of the tasks for the day are checked off the menacing pages in the elephant size 3-ring binder, she says "Alright, you guys go outside and play while I get lunch."
Funny thing happens when those words are spoken...they run like escaping captives for the door screaming "I LOVE RECESS!" She left alone if only for a moment to take inventory and regroup for the next attack. As she puts the small ones down for a nap and finishes up a few of the last little things with the mastermind. As she tries to poke around this little brain for some glimmer of hope that she actually retained some of the material from the chaos that was the morning, the questions are answered with blank stares and shoulder shrugs. "OH CRAP" seems to resurface in her mind...She continues to think this while pondering the point of it all. That is until said women's husband comes home and interrogates the retention of the material learned that day and the once unknowing child all of a sudden is the next Einstein and can recite almost every word that was spoken including some that weren't :) The boggled mother just shakes her head, sighs, and rushes away to once again keep the baby from eating out of the garbage...
Yeah, somehow I can relate to the second woman...huh.
Yeah that is SO not my house! My homeschooling experience is going more like this...
Haggard mother wakes up and her first thought is "Oh Crap, it's morning!" She knows this fact because there is already two not so tiny bodies piled like cord wood on top of her bouncing her awake. "Come on mom, we need to EAT!!!!!!" She tries to block out the annoying comments that put certain death to her alone time, but nothing can stifle the screeches coming from the caged animal what sometime camouflages itself has a very lovely baby girl in the next room. OK she is up she is moving. She is on a roll...the savages are feed, the beds are made, the proper clothes semi in place. Hour one, and everyone is still breathing. As the small minions destroy the living room with every toy in their arsonal, she sits and uses this small moment of time to once again go over the lessons for the eldest and her military type game plan to keep the other two at bay. She takes a deep breath and squints her eyes and winces as she says "time for school".
At that moment all Hell breaks out! The leader of this pack finds anything and everything to keep herself from doing the task at hand. The baby has in a split second (well really the time it takes to teach the sound of the letter A)opened every drawer and cabinet in the kitchen and spewed forth all the contents on to the floor to which the four year old (who has been running around turning every radio on in the house, full blast I might add) trips and falls and has proceeded to wail like his leg has just been severed. All the while she is trying to get her voice to reach an ungodly level to make her explanation of how a rain cloud is formed heard. Yes there are time when she is thinking that those sound proof rooms that they use on game shows might not be a bad idea for domestic use, but do they make them strong enough to contain the combined energy and force of a tornado and hurricane? Huh she will have to look into that...
Anyway, as she was day dreaming the sweet loving four year old is laying on the floor rolling back and forth holding his stomach saying " I can't move, I am so hungry my legs don't work...or my hands or my feet!...I think I am dying...MOM I AM HUNGRY!" In between sentences of the Boxcar Children she assures him lunch is not far off, when she looks down and he has a small buddy join him in his plea...but since this buddy has not yet mastered the art of speech she just lays and moans, back and forth back and forth, moaning like she hasn't been fed in all her 1 1/2 years on earth. Once the chapter is finished and most of the tasks for the day are checked off the menacing pages in the elephant size 3-ring binder, she says "Alright, you guys go outside and play while I get lunch."
Funny thing happens when those words are spoken...they run like escaping captives for the door screaming "I LOVE RECESS!" She left alone if only for a moment to take inventory and regroup for the next attack. As she puts the small ones down for a nap and finishes up a few of the last little things with the mastermind. As she tries to poke around this little brain for some glimmer of hope that she actually retained some of the material from the chaos that was the morning, the questions are answered with blank stares and shoulder shrugs. "OH CRAP" seems to resurface in her mind...She continues to think this while pondering the point of it all. That is until said women's husband comes home and interrogates the retention of the material learned that day and the once unknowing child all of a sudden is the next Einstein and can recite almost every word that was spoken including some that weren't :) The boggled mother just shakes her head, sighs, and rushes away to once again keep the baby from eating out of the garbage...
Yeah, somehow I can relate to the second woman...huh.
Friday, August 5, 2011
Changes are coming.
So here I sit with all these thoughts swirling in my head, and so I thought what better why to get them organized then to write a long over due blog. Lately I have been thinking a lot about being in control. For those of you who know me well you are laughing because you know that I really really like to have a grip on what is going on. I would not say that I am a super control freak but I sure like to get my way!
Since having childern I am learning that this is just not always possible, especially since said kids are growing and forming their own options on matters. I can not make them like something. I can not make them understand something their small years don't allow. This lack of control is not only with my childern it is with all humans, dogs, cats, stupid magpies, and weather...not to mention a million other things. My need for being in charge mixed with the realization that I am not has made me fearful. I worry now. I worry about all the what ifs. I worry about protecting every move my childern make because I am fearful that something is going to happen that I am not going to be in control of and they are going to get hurt. So if I can just keep one step ahead then I can keep them from pain. But guess what...I never feel like I am one step ahead. I am never good enough. In my mind I just can't make sense why crap happens and I can't seem to keep them from happening. But it is slowing sinking in...I can't control everything because I am not God. I do not rule the wind and the seas, let alone the births and deaths of people I love or me for that matter. I am not God. I am not capable of seeing the big picture. I only get to see the small chunk that is my life, my feelings, my actions. And boy do I sometimes make a mess of things. I flip out. I run to the Lord all in an uproar just like the disciples did when they where on turbulent seas. What is my Lord doing while I freak? He is resting in the knowledge that He IS one step ahead. He knows the details, not just of this moment but the next million moments.
OK so I grew up with a Father who is a recovering alcoholic. I spent a lot of time around other recovering alcoholics. I went to a lot of Alcoholics Anonymous functions, and one thing they always use to say was the serenity prayer. When I was younger I didn't really understand the meaning of this prayer and how profound it was. For those of you that don't know this prayer it goes like this.
"Lord grant me serenity to accept the things I can not change. The courage to change the things I can, and the WISDOM to know the difference."
Wow. There it is. It clicked in my head. It has been a long time coming but I am slowly getting it. I CAN'T CHANGE EVERYTHING! I have a choice to calmly and faithfully accept the unchangeable, or rant about it. One is going to give peace and serenity and one is going cause discord and chaos within me. I can't change car accident, plane crashes, drownings, close calls, illness, stupid people, or even root maggots. But I can change me and how I allow myself to react about all these things. This all reminds me of a book I have read...
So while I was VERY pregnant with Brahm my mother-in-love gave me a book entitled "Keep a quiet heart" by Elizabeth Elliot. Well me being me and the elevated hormone level, I took it as she was trying to tell me not to be so forthcoming with my thoughts and opinions, so I put it on the book shelf and never looked at it. I would like to say I got over it shortly and finally picked it up and it changed my life, but that is not the case. I left it on that shelf for years. Well just about a year ago I moved my bookshelf and come across it again, and now having got over myself, I started to read. Upon reading I realized that it wasn't about sitting down and shutting up it was about trusting and resting in the fact that God is God. To not let the things of this world trouble your heart but hold tight to the fact that my Lord has, like it says in Psalms 16:5, assigned me my portion and cup, and has made my lot secure. I can calm the waters of my heart with the knowledge that God has it worked out. It boils down to this...I can control how I react to each situation whether I can control it or not. There can be arm flailing, kicking, and screaming or I can chose to have a quiet heart because I know that I have nothing to fear. I can face the facts and do what I have to do to change what I can. I can react with confidence that my lot is made secure. I know to whom I belong. So it is all about choices...my choices and my reactions. So from now on I am praying that God will give me the wisdom to discern between the changeable and unchangeable, as well as the insight to "keep a quiet heart". Now that this is all written and out of my brain I don't know if it makes any sense but least it is out of my brain and written just in case I need a reminder...which I am sure I will.
Since having childern I am learning that this is just not always possible, especially since said kids are growing and forming their own options on matters. I can not make them like something. I can not make them understand something their small years don't allow. This lack of control is not only with my childern it is with all humans, dogs, cats, stupid magpies, and weather...not to mention a million other things. My need for being in charge mixed with the realization that I am not has made me fearful. I worry now. I worry about all the what ifs. I worry about protecting every move my childern make because I am fearful that something is going to happen that I am not going to be in control of and they are going to get hurt. So if I can just keep one step ahead then I can keep them from pain. But guess what...I never feel like I am one step ahead. I am never good enough. In my mind I just can't make sense why crap happens and I can't seem to keep them from happening. But it is slowing sinking in...I can't control everything because I am not God. I do not rule the wind and the seas, let alone the births and deaths of people I love or me for that matter. I am not God. I am not capable of seeing the big picture. I only get to see the small chunk that is my life, my feelings, my actions. And boy do I sometimes make a mess of things. I flip out. I run to the Lord all in an uproar just like the disciples did when they where on turbulent seas. What is my Lord doing while I freak? He is resting in the knowledge that He IS one step ahead. He knows the details, not just of this moment but the next million moments.
OK so I grew up with a Father who is a recovering alcoholic. I spent a lot of time around other recovering alcoholics. I went to a lot of Alcoholics Anonymous functions, and one thing they always use to say was the serenity prayer. When I was younger I didn't really understand the meaning of this prayer and how profound it was. For those of you that don't know this prayer it goes like this.
"Lord grant me serenity to accept the things I can not change. The courage to change the things I can, and the WISDOM to know the difference."
Wow. There it is. It clicked in my head. It has been a long time coming but I am slowly getting it. I CAN'T CHANGE EVERYTHING! I have a choice to calmly and faithfully accept the unchangeable, or rant about it. One is going to give peace and serenity and one is going cause discord and chaos within me. I can't change car accident, plane crashes, drownings, close calls, illness, stupid people, or even root maggots. But I can change me and how I allow myself to react about all these things. This all reminds me of a book I have read...
So while I was VERY pregnant with Brahm my mother-in-love gave me a book entitled "Keep a quiet heart" by Elizabeth Elliot. Well me being me and the elevated hormone level, I took it as she was trying to tell me not to be so forthcoming with my thoughts and opinions, so I put it on the book shelf and never looked at it. I would like to say I got over it shortly and finally picked it up and it changed my life, but that is not the case. I left it on that shelf for years. Well just about a year ago I moved my bookshelf and come across it again, and now having got over myself, I started to read. Upon reading I realized that it wasn't about sitting down and shutting up it was about trusting and resting in the fact that God is God. To not let the things of this world trouble your heart but hold tight to the fact that my Lord has, like it says in Psalms 16:5, assigned me my portion and cup, and has made my lot secure. I can calm the waters of my heart with the knowledge that God has it worked out. It boils down to this...I can control how I react to each situation whether I can control it or not. There can be arm flailing, kicking, and screaming or I can chose to have a quiet heart because I know that I have nothing to fear. I can face the facts and do what I have to do to change what I can. I can react with confidence that my lot is made secure. I know to whom I belong. So it is all about choices...my choices and my reactions. So from now on I am praying that God will give me the wisdom to discern between the changeable and unchangeable, as well as the insight to "keep a quiet heart". Now that this is all written and out of my brain I don't know if it makes any sense but least it is out of my brain and written just in case I need a reminder...which I am sure I will.
Sunday, May 15, 2011
Learning curves.
Ok so here goes I am trying to learn to take set up pictures instead of just candid. Since Brother-in-law Will is off to Afghanistan in June I figured Jo and Will would be willing subjects...and they were, YAY! Here are just a few that I have finished.
This was in the rain and not a bunch of color so I am learning how to add color...and if you really know me you know I am color challenged. So much so that Jesse picks out the colors for my quilts. But I figure practice makes less suckiness.
Ok so I will leave Will and Jo's session section with my all time favorite FAVORITE picture of all time, and guess what I didn't even change anything on photoshop...yup this is straight out of the camera
So...I am not a portrait type of photographer. I like to take photos of real life. Of moments and communication between people. But I am learning to branch out. So when one of the girls in my youth group needed senior shots...cheap. I said hey I will do it for practice but don't expect much...but they will be free. So bless her heart Mariah was such a trooper. Here is the a few of the results. There were some major learning moments in doing these but all were helpful and good.
I am still amazed that sometimes things just work out even if you don't think they will. This shot was at a bluff down here at like 10pm and I thought it would be great to get a shot of mountains and such at sundown. Well not the greatest for portraits but as we where leaving I turned away from the sun and got a few great shots.
This shot I like but there were some technical issues on the original. But praise God for the invention of Photoshop! I have had it for a few years but I have been too intimidated to actually use it. After a lot of prompting from a few friends I sucked it up and learned. Good old grandma GOOGLE sure comes in handy when you have questions.
This is my favorite I think...
So there it is. All the things I am learning. I have a long why to go but I think that the more I use the camera and computer the more I will get it...some day I might be as cool as my good friend Katie over at Katie Cannon Photography (yeah you should check out her website). She is my go to for photography questions as well as being one of the greatest friends a girls could ask for!
But for now I will keep on keeping on.
This was in the rain and not a bunch of color so I am learning how to add color...and if you really know me you know I am color challenged. So much so that Jesse picks out the colors for my quilts. But I figure practice makes less suckiness.
Ok so I will leave Will and Jo's session section with my all time favorite FAVORITE picture of all time, and guess what I didn't even change anything on photoshop...yup this is straight out of the camera
So...I am not a portrait type of photographer. I like to take photos of real life. Of moments and communication between people. But I am learning to branch out. So when one of the girls in my youth group needed senior shots...cheap. I said hey I will do it for practice but don't expect much...but they will be free. So bless her heart Mariah was such a trooper. Here is the a few of the results. There were some major learning moments in doing these but all were helpful and good.
I am still amazed that sometimes things just work out even if you don't think they will. This shot was at a bluff down here at like 10pm and I thought it would be great to get a shot of mountains and such at sundown. Well not the greatest for portraits but as we where leaving I turned away from the sun and got a few great shots.
This shot I like but there were some technical issues on the original. But praise God for the invention of Photoshop! I have had it for a few years but I have been too intimidated to actually use it. After a lot of prompting from a few friends I sucked it up and learned. Good old grandma GOOGLE sure comes in handy when you have questions.
This is my favorite I think...
So there it is. All the things I am learning. I have a long why to go but I think that the more I use the camera and computer the more I will get it...some day I might be as cool as my good friend Katie over at Katie Cannon Photography (yeah you should check out her website). She is my go to for photography questions as well as being one of the greatest friends a girls could ask for!
But for now I will keep on keeping on.
Monday, April 25, 2011
More Pictures.
So I know it has been awhile since I posted last but what can I say it is spring and I have been sprung. We have been outside a lot and with that comes more sweeping more laundry more well everything so that means less down time. But for your patience I reward you with more pictures. Hope you enjoy!
I love close ups of peoples faces. I just shows "Them" nothing else just the faces we love. So here are just a couple of my very favorite faces.
I like to call this one "Almost full quiver". It just totally shows the sheer awesomeness of my husband. He is the hands on type of dad and husband every girl dreams of. I am so blessed to be able to call him MINE!
I never had a sister. I grew up with boys. That is why I feel so blessed to have two girls. Auden is such a great big sister and Caelis looks up to her so much. I am sure in the future they will have their moments but I also know they will have each other which is AWESOME. I am glad I got to capture this moment if not for me at least for them.
I love to photograph kids. I think it is because they are a challenge and when I capture them in their environment they are who they are, whether it be happy, sad, mad, or silly. Whatever they are feeling or doing they do it their way. I love this line up of kids not just because they each mean so much to me but they are so silly in their own ways. I call this one "The Easter Lineup"
This one I like to call Easter Boots. Auden is such a girly girl and such a tomgirl all rolled into one. She is an amazing little girl who blows me away every single day.
Caelis and her cousin Elliot are finding where they stand with each other it is a love hate thing. Both are so cute it is easy to get a great shot with these two!
Our good friends the Jaworski's let me get a quick shot of their Alaska attire. These five feet make me happy...well I should say what is attached to their feet because to be honest their feet really don't interest me. But they themselves are a true blessing to me. We are two families learning to be the great "sourdoughs" of our time. We all love this frontier life and are striving to live simply but deeply.
I love close ups of peoples faces. I just shows "Them" nothing else just the faces we love. So here are just a couple of my very favorite faces.
I like to call this one "Almost full quiver". It just totally shows the sheer awesomeness of my husband. He is the hands on type of dad and husband every girl dreams of. I am so blessed to be able to call him MINE!
I never had a sister. I grew up with boys. That is why I feel so blessed to have two girls. Auden is such a great big sister and Caelis looks up to her so much. I am sure in the future they will have their moments but I also know they will have each other which is AWESOME. I am glad I got to capture this moment if not for me at least for them.
I love to photograph kids. I think it is because they are a challenge and when I capture them in their environment they are who they are, whether it be happy, sad, mad, or silly. Whatever they are feeling or doing they do it their way. I love this line up of kids not just because they each mean so much to me but they are so silly in their own ways. I call this one "The Easter Lineup"
This one I like to call Easter Boots. Auden is such a girly girl and such a tomgirl all rolled into one. She is an amazing little girl who blows me away every single day.
Caelis and her cousin Elliot are finding where they stand with each other it is a love hate thing. Both are so cute it is easy to get a great shot with these two!
Our good friends the Jaworski's let me get a quick shot of their Alaska attire. These five feet make me happy...well I should say what is attached to their feet because to be honest their feet really don't interest me. But they themselves are a true blessing to me. We are two families learning to be the great "sourdoughs" of our time. We all love this frontier life and are striving to live simply but deeply.
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