I just smeared peanut butter all over my son!

So before you become a mother you think you have it all together. That when most things come up you know that you can handle it. Then you discover you are pregnant, you have all these plans and idea of how it is going to be. Before you know it you are sitting there in tears and as big as a house bouncing on an exercise ball pleading with God to get this thing out of your body because if one more day past your due date comes and goes you are going to start HARMING people. The big day comes and the fact that NOTHING goes as planned should have been a big indication that once that kid pops out...right there at that moment all hope of having everything under control has run screaming from the room never to return.

The next year is a constant haze of self doubt, utter terror, and pure joy. By the time the kid is a year you think that once again you can maybe get things under control...then the vicious cycle starts all over again. Years later you are putting the tenth load of laundry in the washer while making sure the baby is not fishing in the toilet (hoping it is flush just in case she does but not taking the time to MAKE SURE!)and trying your darnest to remember the three sheets of Christmas cookies in the oven and to make sure the two kids who are sliding down the front yard hill have not been mauled by a moose or flying towards truck tailgates.

Though you are balancing the weight of five peoples universe on your shoulders you have totally abandoned the idea of control. To drive home the fact, your three year old son comes in the house for you to put his mitten on for the sixth time, and you notice that his neck is a weird shade of melon flavored gum....OH CRAP! Sure enough you remove the neck warmer only to find that in the mist of his sliding gaiety he had lost his gum only to have it nettle itself between his chin and neck, which is quiet warm due to hot breath and layers of polar fleece. You remove the hood, hat, and said warm necker only to find that it had melted from the bottom of his chin to the top of his chest. Not to mention that removing the neck accessory has caused the stringy sticky mess to migrate to the side of his face and hair as well. AWESOME!

After a quick "Grandma what do I do" call you are standing in the bathroom with a costco size jar of peanut butter in one hand and a cap full of tide in the other smearing both all over your son the whole time he is screaming "Mommy I am not a sandwich!" After the inital "YOU HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME" moments have worn off and you are seeing an end to this gum drama, you are thinking..."MY life has come to this!" and you can't help but laugh uncontrollably. Your life has come to this! What happen to the person who thought she had it all together? I will tell you what happened to her...she HAD KIDS! Kids are not predictable, they are not calculated, they do not stay in the lines, they are NUTS! But they also are fun, carefree, full of love, and down right HILARIOUS! You may never know what will fill your day when you spend it with them, but would you want it any other way?

Focus

As I sat at my sewing machine the other day and was so hurried to get my project done, I thought about how our focus can go askew. So here is my best attempt at an illustration...



Sometimes I struggle with having this narrowed focused point of view which causes me to get agitated and annoyed because I want to do what I want to do. Because of this "me" view I not only miss out on a lot of the greatness that is my children's childhood, but I rob them of the mom they deserve. Granted sometimes I need this focus to keep me sane, but I keep telling myself "everything in moderation".





The funny thing is when I keep my focus where it should be when it should be there then not only are they happy but I find that I am happy too. When I decide to be a here-and-now mom I notice they are more content and then they aren't spending all of their day asking and bugging me. When I take that time to build a fort, play tea party, read a story, or just let them help with house duties then they are more apt to let me have my time when I need it.

Apart from the mom thing this I have noticed is the same in my spiritual life. Not that God is sitting there nagging me for a drink or to wipe his butt. However, He is asking me to spend time with Him. To focus into the Word, into His teachings and guidelines for my life. When I want to do what I want to do and say "to heck" with what God wants from me or when I am just too busy to be obedient then it seems that my world is shaky, I am off. Just like with the kids, when I give up that selfish thinking and lovingly and willingly give of myself and time I am blessed beyond measure. Is it roses everyday that I start out in prayer and bible reading? YEAH RIGHT! Nope, but it is a lot easier to remember that God is there when you just got done spending time with Him. So when crap hits the fan it is easier to grab a mop and start cleaning up instead of whining about it. So there is my thoughts as I sit at my sewing machine and ponder life.

Glimpses of my views.

So like the title says I got a new camera. I LOVE it. I am sure a lot of you don't know this but I took a semester or so of photography in college and really loved developing prints. I don't mind taking pictures, don't get me wrong but the real magic for me was in the dark room. So when I moved from all the dark room stuff the joy of taking the pictures sorta died. I got all anti "creative photo" taking because everyone and their grandma can take good pictures with a digital camera strapped to them. So I boycotted. But I began to miss it. I began to lose seeing things as I would through a lens. So thanks to my pushy and thoughtful husband and Katie from KATIE CANNON PHOTOGRAPHY who just so happens to be a VERY good friend of mine and not to mention an AMAZING photographer...I got a new-to-me digital SLR. Despite the fact I didn't touch it for a week after I got it, and it just sat in the box on our table...it soon called to me. And then my husband couldn't stand it anymore and he opened it and started to push buttons he knew nothing about, I couldn't handle it! So after grabbing from his hand and in a huff looking it over...that is when it that old feeling snuck in again. Now I have used it almost everyday just to capture my babies growing up, and to mostly do it for fun. To have something that is my own again...to express a little of me. So here are a few pictures I took...enjoy.


This is my daughter and she is awesome. Not only is she my second pair of hands, she loves to be my muse. We were walking and I noticed this well pump, which I have not seen one of these in YEARS...so we snapped a few shots.


This is my dad's car back home in Wisconsin. I loved how the sky was looking and how regal that old weathered car looked.



While out berry picking. I couldn't help but take a few shots of what seemed to be a fairytale in pictures. This is Auden and her best friend Leif. They love playing and just being friends...simple and easy, which we all could use more of.


Caelis was so majestic while trying to eat grass during our berry picking time. The fog and lighting was perfect that day.


I call this one the edge of the world because that is what it looks like...they are so small and the world is so big, yet it is theirs to conquer.


My time in Wisconsin was such a blessing. I go to hang with my brother and nephew and capture some of that bond. I love it.


My boy! He is so full of love and life that it makes me smile just thinking of him. Everything he does is done with every fiber of his being. Then there is our faithful dog Moses, always watching and waiting for that next stick.
These are just a few glimpses into how I see things. Hope you like them.

Are you still out there world?

Ok so I know it has been way too long and I am probably drove you all away with my lack of postings. You can believe me it is not for lack of things to write about. Since returning from our trip to the midwest (which was awesome) we have been none stop! The weekend after returning was dipnetting the Kenai River for our 65 red salmon that will fill our freezer for the year. Then just one thing after another seems to keep us all tied up. I just wanted to pop in and let you all know that we are still here and kicking. We also got some professional pictures done from one of my very talented friends Katie Cannon. I will have to cut this short due to making supper and baking for a potluck but I will leave you with some of her great photos! More to come later! Enjoy.

Exhausted before it even begins.

Ok so when I was little and we went on a trip I always thought it was just fun. I never thought about all that my mom did to get ready...Thanks MOM! At this point Jesse and I have been running around for weeks trying to get our ducks in a row so we can leave our garden, chickens, and, well, life here behind. Prayers for safety, flexible sleeping childern (mostly baby) and fun (that mommy can just not stress and chill out). Thanks I will catch you all on the flips side.

huh...

Well here I sit...it is quiet for the time being...the kids are napping and Jesse is hunting. While I sit here I am thinking about life. My house is not as clean as it should be, the clothes are actually washed folded and put away (after sitting in the livingroom for two weeks). We have plants started in the green house so we can get some produce this summer hopefully. I have about a million ideas in my head about things I want to do to my house, my yard, my hobbies, and my hair. I have been on weight watchers now for two weeks and have lost ten pounds, but has a lot more to go. I am thankful it hasn't been too hard. I should really finish Brahm's quilt that was for his 2nd birthday (he will be 3 in 4 months). My dog needs to be brushed and probably vaccinated. I wish trees could grow in weeks instead of years, then I wouldn't have to look at our neighbors. I should do my lesson for youth-group before Wednesday afternoon this week. Then just realized I said it is party week and thankful that first thought can now be let go. Wonders why the public health will no longer do well baby checks and really doesn't want to pay $100 to take her to our doctor, but probably will...maybe. I got a really great ring for mother's day (a day late for us) but has to send it back to Israel (yes Israel the country) because that is where is was made, to have it resized. With all these things and wants and needs to do I look around at the picture of our family made of circles with four lines for arms and legs sticking straight out making each letting person; I know that my time is right where it should be. I snuggle. I sing. I read. I tickle. I nurse. I change a dirty butt. I teach imagination. I take twice as long planting just so little hands can help. I clean up the same toys over and over again. I encourage. I play soccer though I know nothing of the sport. I teach the ABC's. I cook. I organize. I ignore the "mommy mommy mommy" at my feet long enough to fully kiss the man I love. I sit and rock until little eyelids finally close. I sneak to kiss and cover. I do it all again the next day. I do it because I know that I do not want to look back and say I missed it! I want to look back and say I LOVED it! Stuff, to do lists, and wants will always be there but this time in my family's life will not. So I am going to live it.

First years clam digging.

So the search for the quick and tricky clam is upon us. Jesse ended up working on night all night and got the next day off, which just so happened to be a clam tide (meaning the water is low enough to dig clams). So we ventured out to the beach with three kids in tow. We only got four clams but it was worth just hanging on the beach. The picture above is the clams we got (for those of you flatlanders who don't really know what I am talking about).
This kid cracks me up. Look at those ears! This was the first year that he could really venture about on his own. He was free to run and explore which he did...he is a happy boy!
I am so fortunate to have such a beautiful place to call home. And such a wonderful family to share it with. This was one of the best views I have have all winter. Thank goodness I have zoom since I stayed close to the car where there was a sleeping baby.
I love that these two are best of friends. They do everything together and though they fight they also almost always choose to be together. They have a great time sharing secrets and finding crabs and candle fish or just splashing.
They are both blessed to have a dad that not only cares for their needs but LOVES to hang out with them and teach them things. He is teaching Brahm to be a good man by living as an example. As well as showing Auden that even macho men can be loving when he wraps her in big hugs for some cuddle time.
What a kid! For those of you who knew A & B when they were babies and now know C. You will find there is a big difference. Her joyfilled smile and laid back ways is a breath of fresh air. After she woke up that day I strapped her on my chest and she never made a peep. Only smiles!
A few days later was another clam tide and this time Uncle Jed and our good friend Cam came to help out. Jed is one of Jesse's next oldest brothers and him and Jesse share a great friendship. I love this picture "Some Cress Men" Because you can see they all are cut from the same cloth. Especially Brahm and his daddy.
Speaking of Brahm and his daddy. The apple doesn't fall far from the tree! Enough said! ( oh I think they were looking at a crab)
There was a lot of looking this day because there was not a lot of clamming. So here is Auden showing Brahm her special purple crab. She was sure God made it just for her. We had a good lesson that day about what certain animals needed to survive, and how the habit for the crab was the ocean and not her pocket (good for the crab mommy taught this lesson before it was too late)!
Brahm loves orange and his special star fish, made just for him.

And since daddy just cleaned the car he had to do the strip down before entering. Though this position has been used for disciplinary action as well, but not this day :)!

When is Spring going to SPRUNG???

Well as I sit here it is snowing up a storm. So spring...not yet. But we did get to have some fun this past week as Grammy and Grampy came and spent the week with us. The kids were beside themselves. They are such great grandparents. They got to spend Easter with us so that was an added plus for the kids.
We spent Easter afternoon with the Cress Crew. And believe it or not we all were there. New babies and all. Getting that many people to look and smile at the same time is impossible but we are all ok with showing our goofy side.
This is the love of my life. I know without a doubt that he is the one that God has intended for me. He loves me for the spaz that I can be. He is the most amazing dad. He is not afraid to change diapers, clean, and act like a goonberry with our kids. He is a great provider who works hard not only to give us what we need but also some of the things we want. He is pretty much Fantastic.
My three monkeys make me smile everyday. They come up with funny, goofy, and down right smart things. Auden and Brahm are the bestest of friends and that is awesome. Caelis has the most amazing smile that will melt the coldest of hearts!
My life is so different then I have planned ten years ago...well sorta. My path to being a doctor has prepared me for motherhood in a lot of ways; the long days, the thinking on your feet, and the dealing with whiners :) I wouldn't change a thing. I always said that the choice between having a career and family would never be a hard one. However, trying to be a good mom is the hardest but greatest career I have ever persued.
These little faces (cousin Tate and Brahm) are the basics of life! The joy the goofiness, and the carefree spirit. Praise God for children.
Easter egg dying...so much fun.

Caelis is ready to go outside and play for the first time. This smile only lasted alittle while and then it turned to sleepy eyes. But still she had fun. She has brought such smiles and love to our family. I am truly blessed to have all the joys in my life.

So here I sit with a sleeping baby on my chest and two other monkeys going crazy around us. This is my life! But in all the chaos I figured you would like to see some updated pictures. We are doing well. We haven't gotten a routine yet and have had only one trip to the ER (more on that later). We are settling into being a family of five...it is a little more crowded (especially in said ER) but in someplaces it is just more cozy (like in mommy and daddy's bed on Saturday morning). All in all we are hanging in there. Oh got to go...two out of the three are crying. Until later...

Welcome Caelis Elizabeth Cress

Ok I know I am really really really late but here are some pictures of our newest little girl. Born January 22, 2010 at 1:28 am. She came in tipping the scales at 8 pounds 7 oz. and 21 inches long. I will fill you in on how everything went a little later. Now I am busy juggling these three and fulfilling my duty as 24 hour on demand milk tank. So here are some pictures.

AHHHHHHHHHHH

Sorry for the delay on the new post but...my mind is on other matters....like having a baby. Here I sit two days overdue and for any of you that have been overdue...IT IS TORTURE! You can't find energy to actually do anything productive and if you did have the energy your brain capacity just isn't there. So here I sit, making sure my kids are dressed (me too though pj pants will have to do) and that everyone is feed and other then that it is damage control. Jesse and I are finding that we are not as nervous about this birth as we were with Brahm because we have had a VBAC already, though there are still concerns. So prayers for a safe delivery and a healthy baby are always appreciated. While you are already talking to God you could ask that it comes...like to day! Well I think that is all I got for forming sentences, hope you are all having a great winter and finding some fun things to do. We will keep you all posted...